Perfect employees
Get up early
Specifically
So they can think about work
They drive in
In cars
For this shows individuality
And individuality is good
They make coffee for all
For this shows the ability
To work as part of a team
Which is also necessary
And/or essential
Perfect employees
Answer the telephone
With the correct phraseology
And never use one word
When ten will do just as well
They smile down the cables
Teeth defying biology
They win the accounts
If not the hearts
Of clients who also
It goes without saying
Like to think about work
Perfect employees
Love to stare at flickering screens
It is the future
ICT
It is easy, simple and labour-saving
Don't you see?
I do
I do see
They demand more residential training courses
More dates with flip charts
More interminable quiche-laden buffet lunches
More introductory ice-breakers
They shout
In unison and individually
That they want to
Love to
Think about work
Perfect employees
Do not cry unless someone has died
Do not overeat
Do not make up words
They wear soft suits
That are made cheaply
But not sold that way
They can always think of something polite
And ideally ingratiating
To add to a conversation
They have no interest in feeling
They are too busy thinking about work
Perfect employees
Pretend to like each other
When they absolutely do not
They send each other cards
And emails of course
Full of wishes and jokes and handy little tips
Congratulations on your engagement
(You have to be married
Can't let the place look untidy)
They regard each other's rise and fall
With the same expression
They go home
In their cars
Thinking
Always thinking
About work
Always work
© Rachel Fox 2005
| Home |